Gaduh....

December-Jan

Sy ambl kptusan utk tdak tgur dia. For 1 week. Wahhh...
And i go to sira's cousin house, rafael... Di situ sy merasa sgt tenang. Alice ada, jelly ada, papa ada, sira pun ada,

new year 2013

31 dec- that evening, i was decided to not going back to kch. bcoz its my grdpa's bfday. when i tell everyone that i want to go back to kch, i saw my mum's face.. her eyes is wet. but she try not to cry bcoz she dont want me to know. then i see my dad's face, he was like very dispnt but he dont want to show it. so he just say, 'ok, u can go.'

i want to tell my grndpa that i want to go back to kch n cant celebrate his bfday that night, but i feel guilty. i couldn't talk to him. so i just when away without telling him.

on my way to kch was heavy rain. so i drive slow. my tears fall as the rain fall down to ground.
WHY I'M DOING THIS? it's bcoz a promise. i cant broke a promise. i am a person who don't know how to break a promise. and bcoz of the 'promise', i left my family behind...

when i reach home at kch, i get sick. flu + fever.. then the plan is cancel.
dah la. malas mk cerita pjg. tiap kali mengenang psal ni gerenti menangis.
 dan azam baru sy ialah not more promises.

Final exam

Setakat ni kami dh ok. Xda apa2 lg yg dpt sy ckp. Fokus on final exam je ni..
31/10  7.17pm

The morning

20/10/2012 9.56am

i eat my breakfast. Then i feel it again. I was going to cry. But no tears. My mistake?

I just miss the moment.the everything. Why does time change everything.? Well, evrythng in this world will change.

realized something

9.32pm 19/10/2012

start to realized that u didn't like my post in fb anymore.

MISSING

9.17pm 19/10/2012

crying bcoz i miss you.
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tba2 kmu dtg msok blik sy. and i was...@.@ omg!
errmmmm., cover2..how?? she look at me bah.. she saw me crying bah..xpa la..ckp xda pa2 jak..
but i know her... she will suspek smthng..and everythng that she feel is always right. hoping she don't know.

ignore my 'english'

start wirte

9.00pm 19/10/2012

im taking my bath,suddenly i feel it. that makes me want to cry.
no one i can talk to. talk to her? how can i talk to her when its about her?
blog?ofcoz.. i can 'talk' to blog.
thinking of searching for her blog?
then i search her blog..found it. i read all of it.
i know what happen. i never tought that she would write about me.
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saya pernah ckp, sy akn sedar sesuatu bila benda itu dh ketara.
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i don't know what's in ur mind but....... im telling u this..
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sy tak berani berckp ngn kmu
sy tak berani nk tegur kmu
sy tak berani nk tnya kmu..anythng.
sbb
sy takut.
sy takut sy tersalah ckp, kmu akn mrh
sy takut sy ganggu emosi kmu, mnatau time tu kmu emosi, kmu akn mrh
sy takut...semua..
sejak sy tgk sikap mrh kmu menonjol, sy jdi takut..
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kmu perasan kn? knp sy xda mk berckp, or joking mcm dulu?
klu dlu sy slalu tolak palak kmu, kmu tolak plak sy..
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hari ni, sy tgk kmu baring dpn laptop. seharian. sy ckp ngn kmu, kmu jwp sepatah, n angguk sj.
ini la sbb sy xckp ngn kmu juga. sbb klu kmu cm ni, mksdnya emosi kmu kurang bgs.
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mangkuk yg pecah tu, mangkuk nenek sy.
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